As we are hurdling ever faster towards our wedding date of June 20th it seems like there are daily lessons about self, tests of self-control and grace, and many disappointments.
Thus far, throughout this process I have learned a few things. If one is really looking to re-evaluate their relationships with friends and family: Get married. If one wants to know where they stand in people’s lives: Get married. And lastly, if one is looking to clean out their lives of people: Get married.
Without getting too specific, I think what it really boils down to is that a wedding is time where one learns of the poor etiquette of so many. We have learned many things regarding people we thought were friends and have learned where we evidently stand in their lives.
That said; the hiccups to our wedding day have been bumpy. I have struggled to see past the poor behavior of friends and family—yes, family. I have found that at times I am bitching about how hurt, sad, and let down I feel with respects to people who have upset me during this process. But then I remember that there are SO MANY people who love and support Greg and I, and I mean SO MANY people.
I think that sometimes it is just so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of negativity that it’s hard to see the beauty and joy of things. So even on the cusp of marrying the most amazing man I have ever met, I have been sucked into a major bitch-fest of people whom I have allowed to drag me down. Shame on me for giving them power to do that shit in the first place! However, in spite of all this, there have been many major [or as I like to refer to them defining] moments during this wedding madness that have reminded that though people suck, there are so many people in my life who remind me that I am abundant.
Rather than continue to give the people who are in my life (or won’t be moving forward) any more power over my feelings and the ability to dampen my spirits, I wanted to share the beautiful moments with you:
- My parents and sister will be flying in to see me marry Greg. My father will walk me down the isle and give me away.
- Greg’s parents who hate to fly and travel (and have not been on airplane in 15 years) will also be joining us.
- My cousin Sara and her husband Chuck have a gorgeous little boy and he is too young to fly. They sent Greg and I wonderful gifts, but the best part was the heartfelt note they wrote to us.
- Many of Greg’s close friends cannot attend the wedding because their wives are 8-9 months pregnant. A few of them are flying out solo to see us wed.
- One of my oldest friends, Craig, whom I met when I was 13 in sleep away camp is coming all the way from New York because he “wanted to be there for your [my] special day”
- My cousin Michael and his wife Nicole are trekking from Long Island with their criminally adorable infant, Evan.
- Two of my former students, Joseph and Emma from my first years teaching in Los Angeles will be present too. Having these two gems witness the joy of my marriage seem to really bring this whole wedding business full circle. I was their teacher: Joseph and Emma graduated high school, went on to college, graduated, and somewhere in between, they grew up. Having them watch me get married seems so right and symbolic of our lives journeys as we continue to evolve together.
But there is so much more to all of this incredible happiness. While in New York, my parents threw their final pizza party. In just a few short days, they will leave New York to start a new life in Florida. My mother retired from her job after 41 grueling years of work and now gets to live life on her terms. My mother in so many respects is now going to be reborn as she discovers herself, defines her identity, and grows in new an unexpected ways.
It was at The Last Pizza Party that I looked around my parent’s friends and my family and concluded: I am abundant.
My cousins Sara and Lisa whom have never met my soon-to-be husband ran up to him then hugged, and kissed him. Though we haven’t seen each other in years they welcomed Greg to our family literally with open arms. We all sat together for hours chatting, laughing, talking about the babies, our life’s, and enjoying each other’s company. And despite the distance and time between visits, the effortless love and fun of family flowed as if we all got together to hang everyday. I felt embraced in their warmth as they congratulated Greg and I on our engagement, inquired about wedding plans, and gushed over my ring. I felt loved and celebrated.
Some of my family and friends even gave us cards and gifts. Many envelopes were addressed to “Team Awesome”, as hashtagged on social media from our LA peeps. We were given cards with sincere sentiments and generous gifts for those unable to make our wedding. I read the cards, drew them into my heart, smiled, and said to myself: I am abundant.
Though many things have turned out differently than Greg and I initially thought when we sent out our Save the Dates in late August 2014, one thing has remained constant. On our wedding day, we will be surrounded and enveloped by the love of friends and family who can attend and made us a priority in their lives. Sadly, we have loved ones who cannot attend due to a variety of reasons and we know that Greg and I are in your hearts. As for the other people in my life that I have given permission to bring me down, that stops here. I have the love of so many, no WE have the love of so many and as far as I am concerned, there is no room for that kind of energy here because I am abundant.