I have spent the last few days feeling sorry for myself–ruminating on a tension-filled interaction with a good friend and coveting the success of others. I guess there really isn’t any other way to put it, I have just been angry and bitter. As a matter of fact, I would go so far to say that I’ve even felt entitled to said success I have yet to achieve. Ugh, it just sounds so bad when you actually say it, but being honest is paramount to understanding how we feel and why.
I guess like so many people, my newsfeed on Facebook is filled with people’s lives—most of which are mundane and ordinary and don’t really appeal to my hopes, wants, and desires. But alas, there are many though that taunt me with travel, packed classes with waitlists, awards, viral articles, modeling contracts, handstands, and lots and lots of flat bellies. It’s so hard not to look at the success of my friends/acquaintances and compare myself, tell myself I am better, more experienced, not good enough or successful, because it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what I think or feel about myself because those thoughts won’t change what has already been done. So, it’s really a waste to wallow when my energies can be redirected. Comparison is the thief of joy. It really is. So, I decided to reach out to a few trusted friends and share how was I was feeling—like really share how I was feeling, right down to the ugly part of being jealous of others.
First, being honest and owning how I really felt was the first step in starting to help me get over what I was experiencing. It was surprisingly liberating once I realized that these ugly thoughts and feelings came not from a place of malice but my own inadequacies. These realizations helped me redirect my efforts and refuel my desire more than ever—hell, I’m the friggen Girl with Purple Hair. Which reminds me—what does that even mean anyway?
The Girl with Purple Hair is me, you, and all of us. It’s making no apologizes for being who you are and boldly sharing yourself—all of yourself with others and the world.
The Girl with Purple Hair is vulnerable, sensitive, and compassionate.
The Girl with Purple Hair is active in causes by spreading awareness through education.
The Girl with Purple Hair feels deeply for impoverished youth, social justice, and equity for women.
The Girl with Purple Hair is not afraid to cry because emotions are what build bridges and community.
The Girl with Purple Hair makes no excuses, as there is no substitution for hard work in this world. So stop waiting, wishing, hoping, and work for it.
The Girl with Purple Hair forgives those who need to be forgiven and welcomes new and old friends [back into] her life and social circle.
The Girl with Purple Hair is unquantifiable, intangible, organic, and malleable.
The Girl with Purple Hair is me, you, and all of us.
The Girl with Purple Hair uplifts others but also needs those same people and community to in turn do the same.
The Girl with Purple Hair falters, missteps, and struggles [like everyone else].
The Girl with Purple Hair refuses to be defined by her circumstances and a victim of her life.
The Girl with Purple Hair handles shit like a boss and and won’t be bullied into silence for having an opinion, a voice, and setting boundaries.
The Girl with Purple Hair never settles and in the wake of her self-imposed pity, after leg day at the gym, put on a 20-pound weight vest and walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes a 9.0 incline—why?!
Because The Girl with Purple Hair refuses to just accept things as they are.
The Girl with Purple Hair is me, you, and all of us and this is my battle cry.
Whether my hair is purple, pink, blue or whatever shade I am feeling in the moment know this: The Girl with Purple Hair is a force and that same force lives within you. Awaken your dormant beast and unleash it on the world unapologetically. In a society that profits from your self-doubt, loving yourself is a rebellious act. Be a rebel and stand tall in your glory. Never let anyone cast shade on your light shining bright, and work with every fiber of your being to live your most authentic truth.
Own your awesome. Stand tall and vigilant and know that with great risk will always come great return. So, sometimes things don’t work out and you failed. That is part of the process. Part of growing is being stretched and pulled and knocked down to only redefine yourself on your rise back up to the top again. I am human, you are human, we are all human. That means sometimes we need the space and permission to honor how we feel for the good, bad, and in between parts, then handle business.
This is my battle cry.
I am The Fu**ing Girl with Purple Hair—are you ready for me?