Day 2: Tuesday, June 10, 2014: Lots of Sweat and Still Hungry

I tossed and turned last night. I think partially it may have had something to do with my nerves of starting up at Crossfit again, but aside from that I felt pretty good this morning.

I choose to blend my shake with ice to make it more substantial and feel like more of a meal. It turned out to be a delicious success! I opted to keep it to plan with ice and water whereas my boyfriend Greg added some berries to his.

I am sitting here writing part of this post when I should be getting ready for Crossfit. God help me.

Let me state the obvious here, Crossfit is hard. It’s probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I went today praying my strong cardiovascular platform as a cycling instructor would carry me: NOPE. It was still as hard as I remember it being.

At the end of the WOD (workout of the day) as I tallied up my numbers for reps and the coach wrote them on the white board, there it was: How I measured up to everyone else, emblazoned for all of the Studio City Crossfit to see. I am not going to lie. I felt like crap. I’m a fitness instructor. Why am I towards the bottom of this list (no, not last, thank you very much)?! Shouldn’t I be higher?! Wait, come to think of it–I know some people cheated! Finally, this dialogue in my head was interrupted by something I recently said in my yoga class:

It’s not about what you can’t do, it’s about what you can do.

Not only did I show up, but I did the best I could after taking months off from Crossfit. My boyfriend killed it and took second in the WOD but he’s just not human and I am not him. Yes, Crossfit is hard. It’s supposed to be. Like anything else in life, the hard is what makes it great. Every day I show up for myself is one day closer to a stronger, better, more fit me.

So am I where I want to be? No.

But if I sat at home thinking about what I couldn’t do verses actually doing it, then I wouldn’t be making any progress–would I?

I became hungrier later today than yesterday, I am thinking that’s a good thing showing that my body is adjusting to the new nutrition program. I housed veggies and humus, some raw almonds and walnuts, drank lots of water, laid in the sun, and then took a yoga flow class. Pre and post class: I WAS STARVING. But then again, I also had 2+ hours of intense physical activity today which certainly contributed to my hunger.

Being mindful of a potentially epic meltdown from not eating, I hustled home after class and immediately made dinner: Chicken, brown rice, black beans, avocado, tomatoes, baby kale with a little olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic. It was decent and filling. Though I will admit that some froyo would really hit the spot right now, I grabbed a glass of water and sat down to finish writing this. I am making moves and I am committed because it’s not about what I can’t do, it’s about what I can do.

Tomorrow we discuss commitment, oh lala.