Olympia

I have had such a memorable year that I am going to need to reflect on it over the next week in installments; but before I do that, I am going to talk about love. I know, insert the eye roll here. But for those of you in thriving relationships, the faithful, the hopeful, the happy, the joyous, the cheerleaders—you believe in love and its power.

My 1 ½ year wedding anniversary just passed and while in the whole scheme of life it’s an inconsequential amount of time there’s something I want to point out. If you think about it, our lives are relatively mundane. The day-to-day stuff is mostly the kind of things that comprise an idle Tuesday afternoon. Peppered with some catastrophes and other life cycle events here and there that punctuate our lives; life just seems to run its course. For me though, my late 20’s into my early 30’s were marked by a series of one bad choice followed by another until my husband Greg wandered into my life. Now, I don’t want to bore you with the specifics of our love. For everyone thinks their love is the kind of love that will change the world. And that’s the beauty of it all—we all have something beautiful to share with someone and live this life with someone by our sides. There’s room for all of us and our love stories. However, the reason why I am so compelled to write this piece at this time is my husband did something so special for me that every time I think about it, it makes me cry and weep in sheer joy. I just had to share this story with the world.

First, I am not an easy person to like, let alone love. Anyone who knows anything about me will attest that I am an overpowering personality with a piercing intensity. My husband though is the complete opposite. He’s easy to love with his welcoming smile and kind eyes that you can’t help but love him instantly. I am blessed beyond measure to have someone in my life who is my balance but above all, someone who helps me achieve my dreams.

In 2016, I committed to becoming a body builder. It was an arduous journey but none of it would have been and could have been possible without the support, love, sweat, and hugs from my husband. My husband is my coach, best friend, personal chef, and sometimes my punching bag. He bore the brunt of my mood swings from my carb depletion and never once did he tear me down or lose his faith in me or us. And so my first show came and went. I was not stage ready by any means, but when I looked out into the audience and saw my husband beaming with pride, none of that mattered—we did this together.

After my show which was an awesome experience and I placed; I decided to dabble in other forms of fitness, more specifically power lifting in an effort find a home in the competitive fitness arena. Greg thought I’d enjoy power lifting more since it’s less subjective than body building. And since it’s a performance based sport, he encouraged me to pursue training for a power lifting meet. So, I started lifting and lifting real heavy. And as I lifted heavier and heavier, I did feel stronger but my body started changing in ways I did not like. I felt myself fantasizing about being back up on that stage, in a glittery suit, showing the world my hard work. I just couldn’t get body building out of my mind.

Time and time again I expressed my desire to compete again to Greg and he listened while attempting to gently nudge me into power lifting. My resolve though was impenetrable. I wanted to body build. I didn’t and couldn’t hear Greg when he talked about his concerns regarding the water cutting, carb depleting, and unhealthy body image he believes it perpetuates. All I saw was that stage, those lights, and me succeeding. It’s funny these things called dreams. They are crazy and intangible, but so real for the dreamers they feel it in every fiber of their being. For me, this insane dream to be a formidable competitor on the stage is something so visceral it’s unquantifiable.

As timed ebbed on, I committed to my first power lifting meet in January. But I didn’t register in time and I didn’t get into the meet, so I took it as a sign. Maybe I really am supposed to be a body builder…? All the same, I just continued to train and not really invest too much thought in either sport until last Thursday night. I had just finished teaching my yoga classes and turned my phone back on. I refreshed my email to see “Welcome to Roxstar Fitness”. My heart stopped. Wait. What? Why am I getting and email from Roxie Beckles?

Wait, wha—

No.

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

GREG GOT ME A BODY BUILDING COACH! A REAL COACH! OHMYGODOHMYGOD!

I was completely frozen where I stood as the tears streamed down my face. I cried and cried and kept rubbing my eyes—was this really happening?! Was I now going to be trained by an IFBB Pro and former Physique Olympian?! It still doesn’t even seem real.

So I am sure at this point you are wondering, what does all this have to do with love? Well, a real and true love supports you and helps you achieve your dreams. An honest love never tries to change you or discourage you from things that are your passions and bring you true happiness. My husband Greg, God bless his soul, is fully aware that nothing about my upcoming journey back to that stage will be easy on us physically, emotionally, and financially. But what my incredible husband also understands since he too was a college athlete is the ultimate price to compete in a sport you love. There is nothing I can give Greg to express my thanks, love, and appreciation like the gifts he has already given me. But I think Elton John said it best in Your Song:

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple but

Now that it’s done

I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

Live a life less ordinary. Turn the volume way up on your Tuesday afternoon life and live and love boldly.

Thank you Greg for coaching me, laughing with me; and above all for loving me, every single part of me for the good, the bad, and sometimes the very ugly parts. I cannot wait to start my journey to stage again and know that every step of the way it was you pushing me to be great.