Arnold Says

Day 4/6—Don’t Listen to the Naysayers

People and their opinions of us can have a profound affect on our actions. Their negativity has the ability to pollute our universe of positivity and ultimately drag us down. Fortunately, for the duration of my life I never really entertained when people said I couldn’t [or wouldn’t be able] do something. I suppose I have always felt that I was just naturally a pretty resilient person, and that people who tried to tear me down were idiots—but what do I know?

While in college, I changed my major a few times before finally declaring my dual major of English Literature and Education. About mid-way through school because of the nature of my major change, I would need to add on an extra year but that’s neither here nor there. In my very first education class in my new major, I was constantly met by tremendous opposition from my professor. It was clear from the start we didn’t mesh well.

Every single shred of work I completed was slammed. It seemed that no matter what I did, I could never meet the expectations of the assignments and frankly, I found most them to be a colossal waste of my time. True to my nature, I shared how I felt about the work we were told to complete. It seemed everything we read, watched, observed, learned—you name it, we had to write a reflection. Shit, we wrote so many reflections, our reflections had reflections. I felt the work was menial and unnecessary. Naturally, this didn’t help my case. I squeaked by the class with a ‘C’ but the professor left me with some parting thoughts of her own [and know it has been YEARS, so I am paraphrasing]:

“You will never be a good teacher, Arielle. You are just too you. You are too different; students and administrators like teachers who follow the rules and don’t feel the need to be so out-of-the-box. Good luck, you will need it as you will struggle every step of the way because of who you are…”

At the time I was too young to really react the way I would today, but I remember scratching my head wondering what the hell kind of shit storm did I just step into with this new major?! There wasn’t a second I actually believed this woman because in my heart of hearts, I knew that kids needed someone like me to push them to be great.

I spent the rest of my undergrad career reflecting on virtually everything. Those of you who have majored in education understand my plight. I had a few, maybe 3 professors I felt were dynamic and inspired me but for the most part I was bored. I was already finishing college a year late so I wanted to hurry up and start my life. In the spring before I graduated, I entered my Teaching Methods courses that consisted of portfolio creation, student teaching, mock interviews, and exit interviews for graduation.

I completed my student teaching in Rockville Centre, New York and felt like I was really ready to enter a classroom of my own. Eager to get my life started and head off to Los Angeles, I still had to pass the review boards grueling mock interview and recommendation process. Every bit of our time in college would be scrutinized. My portfolio, student teaching evaluations, lesson plans—all of it would be torn apart because it ‘would make me a better teacher’.

My old classroom at Virgil Middle School

The results of my exit interview process came back. The chair of the English department was petitioning to prevent me from graduating with my class. Apparently, the chairperson was up in arms that I somehow made it through the English department and she never met me and I that never took one of her classes [yeah, that was on purpose. Everyone knew she was an epic bitch]. Additionally, she felt my confidence was arrogant and my lesson plans were ‘too original’. In the end, it turned out she couldn’t actually prevent me from graduating. There was momentary panic and I had to rush some things to school to prove my validity but I took something away from all of this: People are afraid of different.

Making tee-shirts to participate in The Walk to End Genocide by Jewish World Watch

Fast forward to my teaching career in urban Los Angeles for the Los Angeles Unified School District. I worked [and continue to work] in a low income, transient neighborhood where my students receive free lunch from the government. The demographic is challenging to work with and grossly under performing. These are the kids that people say ‘can’t learn’, those kids are my students. Well, let me tell you about my work with ‘those kids’. In just the first 6 years of my teaching career, I accomplished the following:

• Was nominated and elected department chair of the English department
• Co-authored the School for Advanced Studies (SAS) programming to bring an in-house magnet program to our school
• Spoke at a nationwide educational conference
• Won Teacher of the Year
• Created a website and non-profit called Only Cool People Read for my students
• Graduated with a 3.98 GPA from my graduate program earning my Master’s Degree in Leadership with a Tier I Administrative Credential

And oh, one last thing. Those kids, the ones no one wants to teach—the ones that ‘can’t learn’…?

On the statewide standardized exams not only did my students out perform the LAUSD school district in every single subset, but they also outperformed their counterparts STATEWIDE.

But hey, my college professors were right: I wouldn’t be a good teacher; I would be a great teacher.

Don’t ever, ever, ever listen to the naysayers.

Go.

Be.

Do.

Day 2/6—Break the Rules

There are all these rules that we always need to abide by: don’t do this, you can’t say that, you can’t wear that, etc. We allow ourselves to be defined by these self-imposed chains that we permit to shackle us and it’s absolutely horrible. How can we possibly thrive if we are constantly functioning within someone else’s set of rules?!

Recently, Oprah Winfrey was slammed for having published in her magazine that only people with flat stomachs should wear crop tops. The backlash was intense leading thousands of woman taking to the interwebs to proudly share their bellies whether someone else found them to be flat or not (click here to learn more). Who’s to say what and how we should wear something?! If you want to wear a crop top and you feel good in it, wear a crop top. I kind of feel it’s that simple. Personally, for me clothing has always represented such a terrible source of frustration. I am short. So unless I buy pants in ankle lengths there’s about a foot of fabric that needs to be hemmed. And let’s not talk about my thighs and waist. Trying to get a pair of pants over my thighs let along fit me in the waist has been my life-long struggle. Ladies with thick thighs, you know the struggle and it is very real [never forget though, thick thighs save lives].

For the life of me, I never understood who designers make clothing for: most people are not 5’10…I often leave shopping excursions empty handed, frustrated, and many times in tears feeling like shit because nothing fits. What’s more, is I wish I had an ounce of the confidence many of the woman in this article have to wear the crop top and own their bodies in their awesome splendor. I think for me, much of the insecurities I encounter with my body don’t come from not wanting to love myself—because I do. For the first time in my life I have embraced my legs and now they’re my favorite body part. It’s more so about what I do for work as a fitness instructor. I worry that people will look at my body, judge it, and think I don’t work hard, eat right, or couldn’t possibly know anything about working out since I myself can’t get a handle on my own physique. Again, this is my shit.

Everyday is a battle to look in the mirror and love what I see reflected back to me. So in an effort to start building myself up, when I get dressed for work in the morning I stand in front of my bedroom mirror naked and tell myself something I love about myself. I know, it sounds hokey; talking to yourself. But try it. The power of positive affirmations have been proven to work. For if you don’t build yourself up, no one else will. You must first see your self-worth before others do, so start believing. The time is now.

To put it in perspective:

Despite what people have to say about Miley Cyrus I have to say I really admire her. While I didn’t have time [ok I forget] to watch last night’s VMA’s, I did get a chance to read about what she wore. Slammed by so many people for wearing her signature outrageously bold and minimal outfits, I looked at the pictures and thought to myself: You go get it, girl. Keep doing you and who gives a crap what the world thinks. You can see what Miley wore by clicking here.

If you don’t bend or break the rules and interpret them on your own accord, we don’t allow space for innovation and genius.

I have had bright purple hair for over 2 years. Over the years, it has gotten brighter and now I have dyed the front of it blue. I don’t offer any apologies for wanting, no needing to express myself. People often ask me or stop me on the street saying, “Oh, but you couldn’t have a real job with that hair!”

Idiots. Not only do I have a real job, I have a Master’s Degree too. When are we going to stop passing unfounded judgment on people solely based on one’s appearance?!

I refuse to consider employment, let alone work anywhere I cannot have colored hair, need to cover my tattoos, or stifle my need to express myself. I am an individual. I have passions and interests and those passions and interests contribute to the person I am and how I leave my mark upon this world. Bottom line, I just need to be me.

Like it, love it, or leave.

I don’t offer any apologies for who I am. Strong and fiery, I voice my opinion regardless of whether it represents what others want to hear. My honesty has made me unpopular but I am not here to win any congeniality contests—I am here to live my truth and that means upholding the highest level of integrity I can so that my truest and most inner-self can flourish.

How do you uphold your truth? How do you Break the Rules so that you can continue to blossom and leave your mark on the world?