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Part II: Preparing for your First Century Ride, Ensure Your Success

Arielle Miller / Accountability, At Home Workouts, Athlete, Bike Riding, Celebrate, Celebration, Century Ride, Challenges, Commitment, Cycling, Diet, Diet and Exercise, Female Athlete, Fitness, Fitness Life, Goal Setting, Goals, Gratitude, Hard Work, Lifestyle, Nutrition, Road Cycling, Roadie, Sports, Strength Training, Training, Uncategorized, Updates, Women in Sports / Century Ride, covid fitness, COVID-19, creating routine, Cycling, Cyclist, Female cyclist, following a schedule, health and fitness, home workouts, live love ride, love your ride, making a schedule, road biking, Strength Training, we can do hard things, weight loss journey, women in sports / 0 comments

January 2, 2021

I’ve been an athlete my entire life and I am self-realized enough to know the limitations and things I am capable of achieving. As I have pointed out, showing up for something and respectfully being able to walk into it and away from it proud of what I did is paramount to me. So, as my time riding got more serious and focused, my friend Lizzy and I joked about doing a century. At first we laughed about it. Then we started talking more about it, and finally committed to actually doing one. And since we are in the midst of a global pandemic, we’d be doing this unsanctioned, not for any recognition, but because we want to do this to reward ourselves for our hard work.

Putting in WORK, a 60 miler for funzies on the Central Coast

Let me further break down this hard work to which I am referring:

First, since purchasing my road bike in late June 2020, I have rode it nearly every day since then. Yes, talk about one rapid love affair. I rode anywhere I could, as often as I could. And knowing absolutely nothing about the sport, I just rode. I rode to get time in the saddle, to learn how to shift, reacclimate to clipping in/out, riding in traffic, and how to handle my bike. I fell so hard and so fast for riding on the road that when I went to New York during August to visit my sister and niece for three weeks, I even brought my bike with me—true story.

Having never rode a bike in NYC before (despite growing up in NY), I blindly leapt into the unknown riding all over NYC because I love being on my bike and seeing and experiencing the world from “life behind bars”. In hindsight, this time in NYC was crucial to my growth as a cyclist. It catapulted me into handling my bike in tight spaces, riding fast, and changing flats without someone to help me. Upon arriving back in LA just three weeks later, I was a whole new woman. My confidence soared and my bike friends remarked at how fast I had gotten. And by fast, it is relative. Fast for a novice, but growth and progress are just that—metrics in the right direction.

In NYC on my last day of riding before returning to LA

Eventually my joy of riding evolved and I started planning weekly long rides with my friend Lizzy (who also doubles as my strength and nutrition coach). We thirsted for harder climbs and craved long days putting miles down on the road in the saddle. Saturday’s became our day. I made sure to get all of my school work and papers written for graduate school before their due dates so that I could ride. I know, I know—who have I become?! Getting a bike and wanting to adventure on it has been a wonderful motivator for me to stay on top of my school work while working on my doctorate. Truly, while I am very industrious and productive; like many people, I struggle with procrastination. Certainly, I have made great strides in adulthood while working as a teacher and teacher leader, but sometimes I get caught up in other things, thus not managing my time appropriately. Creating a routine for myself has been an integral part of my success as both a professional and athlete.

To further illustrate, as discussed by Northwestern Medicine, 2021:

Tips for a Healthier Lifestyle

People are creatures of habit, and routines offer a way to promote health and wellness through structure and organization. Having a routine can greatly improve your health.

Many people who don’t have any type of routine suffer from:

Stress. No routine often means having the constant worry of “when will I get it all done.”
Poor sleep. Without a daily routine at work and/or home, you may find yourself playing catch-up with yesterday’s to-do list. If you’re always behind on what should have been done the day before, you’re likely also staying awake worrying about what didn’t.
Poor eating. Unhealthy diets (like eating lots of fast food) become the norm if there isn’t time scheduled for grocery shopping. Quick, unhealthy substitutes become the next best food option.
Poor physical condition. Working out usually requires some advance planning.
Ineffective use of time. Often, no routine means you simply run out of time, leaving things undone and not making the most of your time.

Once I nailed down and freed up my Saturday’s, I examined and really dialed into my daily and weekly schedule. It looked something like this with occasional changes due to work commitments and/or poor air quality in LA:

Monday and Tuesday	– Usually Peloton, ride outdoors if time and weather permitting – Add walking if and when possible for at least 1 hour	Strength training
Wednesday	– Usually Peloton, ride outdoors if time and weather permitting – Add walking if and when possible for at least 1 hour	Cardio only
Thursday and Friday	– Usually Peloton, ride outdoors if time and weather permitting – Add walking if and when possible for at least 1 hour	Strength training
Saturday	Long bike ride adventure	Cardio only
Sunday	Recovery ride or walk	Cardio only

This schedule emerged in order to ensure I was getting in my training as outlined by my coach to keep me working towards my goals: fat loss and to maintain my strength. Many people battle getting in their workouts and it’s not because they don’t want to workout, but because they lack the ability to create a routine and then follow it. For me, the schedule is my lifeline, serving as a non-negotiable. Sure, occasionally a strength day gets pushed a day—but I never miss a workout. I never make excuses to skip the work I know needs to be done and the work I know I will be glad I committed to. Like anything else worth pursuing in our lives, it requires planning, dedication, sacrifice, and follow through. Our fitness, health, and wellness should be at the very top of our commitments and priorities because if we do not take care of ourselves inside and out—how can we be of the best service to those in our professional and personal lives? Just something to think about.

During the entire 15-week period which was the duration of my first semester as a doctoral student, not only did I maintain my schedule; but it allowed my weight loss journey to continue. At present, I am down nearly 35 pounds! The structure provided by my meal plan, fitness programming, and routine allowed me to actively work towards my aesthetic and athletic goals while thriving in the workplace and school. As time passed and I became more fit, my desire to push and test my limits grew greater.

My Saturday bike rides became longer and more challenging. Once terrified of elevation and the hard work it demanded of me, I now yearned for it. This transformation led me to feeling like I was finally ready after 6 months of riding my bike and training regularly for my first century ride. In fact, every time I thought about it, my heart fluttered with nerves and delight.

Was I really ready for this? Could I do this? What if I failed?

I was ready. I mean, it’s like anything else that is terrifying that we pursue—is one ever truly ready? There is only one way to tell and that’s by hurling oneself wildly outside of one’s comfort zone to see. Yes, I could do this, I was doing it, and I am going to complete it. And if for whatever reason I cannot and do not achieve what I set out to accomplish; then it’s an opportunity for reflection and growth.

Hell yes. I am doing the damn thing to do it—not to set any records, not to be the best, not for any recognition but to show myself how far I have come and reward my hard work with a hard effort as testament to my personal journey of self-improvement.

I had the time in the saddle. My body was physically ready—or so it felt like it was ready. And the date and location was set—Lizzy and I would drive to Palm Springs on Saturday, December 19, 2020 and spend the night. On Sunday, December 20, 2020, we’d wake up bright and early then tackle the 100-mile planned route with our Camelbak’s filled with water and food, and ride through the desert entirely unsupported…

How would we do? Did we have enough food? Enough water? What if something happens to one of our bikes…? And oh God, where will we use the restroom????

Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss the conclusion of this series, Part III: Preparing for your First Century Ride, We Can Do Hard Things

Part I: Preparing for your First Century Ride, Respect the Process

Arielle Miller / Accountability, Adventure, Athlete, Awareness, Bike Riding, Celebration, Century Ride, Challenges, Cycling, Female Athlete, Fitness, Fitness Life, Goal Setting, Goals, Lifestyle, Road Cycling, Roadie, Sports, Sports Training, Training, Women in Sports / Bike riding, Century Ride, Cycling, Cyclist, female athletes, Female cyclist, Girls who ride bikes, Hard work, road cycling, we can do hard things / 0 comments

December 30, 2020

On December 20, 2020, I rode my very first century ride—100 miles.

One hundred miles. WOW. Honestly, even days after accomplishing this feat, I still haven’t been able to wrap my head around the fact that I did something like that—ME.

I pedaled, on a bike for 7 hours and 20 minutes through the desert with my good friend Lizzy Picardi, unsupported with just the water and food we could carry and WE DID IT.

Lizzy and I gearing up to head out for our Century Ride!

We did it without the help of anyone else and that’s not to say it wouldn’t have been nice or that we were unprepared by any means. Being able to do something like an unsupported century ride in the desert where the first 50 miles were literally in the middle of nowhere takes a great deal of planning, conditioning, confidence, and what I would like to say is a respect for the process.

And that is exactly what I want to focus on here—a respect and reverence of the process when embarking upon an endeavor like this. First, riding 100 miles IS A BIG DEAL. When I started riding my road bike in late June, early July of 2020, the thought of being able to ride that far for that long was so abstract I couldn’t comprehend it. Like I saw people doing these rides, or heard from friends about ‘the century they did once and how horrible it was’ and I nodded, then responded with, “Wow, that’s so cool” but not only did I not truly understand it, what baffled me the most was how people seemed to brag about how unprepared physically they were to ride 100 miles. Almost like a badge of honor, I continue to hear and learn about how many people have rode 100 miles without riding more than 20 miles. And sure, I applaud your can-do attitude, but it’s like the student in my class who does zero work the entire semester then during the last two weeks of class, asks how they can raise their grade and if they can make up all the work.

The day I bought my bike, “Best Girl” on June 27, 2020

Ummmm, NO, you cannot condense my four-month course to two weeks; and the fact that you think you can is insulting, devaluing the work of others, minimizes the planning I’ve invested in your education, and is a blatant lack of respect for the time, effort, and perseverance that comes with navigating through content and projects for an extended period of time.

The same is with endurance sports like running and cycling. The training IS the process. The training IS the journey, not the race day. Anyone can show up and run 26.2 miles and ride 100 miles. But what kind of showing are you putting up? How do you feel during the race? How do you feel after the race? The purpose of sport is not to wreck yourself and proudly brag about that time you didn’t train for a marathon but ran one anyway. If the aim is to gloat about how tough you are for doing these things, I implore you to look a little closer and dig a little deeper with the lens of looking to respect the process.

The Angeles Crest, with 4k+ of elevation on December 26, 2020

Respecting the process means putting in the work, the daily work; the real training which is the grind of being athlete that sets you up for success. Anyone can show up for one day, but I dare you to train and show up 6 days a week, sometimes for two-a-days when life is hitting you hard, when you are tired, when you are simply not feeling it; but alas you do it anyway.

Respecting the process means you look at those 100 miles the way I did: Something I want to do, but I want to do it well. Because the way I see it, if I am going to do something in this world, I cannot and will not show up and embarrass myself. Period.

But, respecting the process is about tapping into your WHY. Why do you want to run a marathon? Why do you want to ride 100 miles? Knowing and understanding your why becomes your North Star, your guidance on those days when you don’t want to train and show up. I have found that a fierce conviction and anchoring in my ‘Why’ is what drives me to train to the best of my ability. So, what’s my ‘Why’?

I like working hard to show myself that I’m strong and capable. I like doing hard things I’ve earned through my hard work. And through my hard work, I hope that I inspire other people to do things that are unfamiliar.

That’s my ‘Why’, take some time to think about yours. Like reallllllly think about it beyond the surface of needing accolades and likes on an Instagram post. Because the truth of the matter is this: When you are hitting the pavement, there is no one there alongside you. It is just you, your body, your thoughts, your training and preparation, and that’s it. It is during those parts of your competition where your want becomes a must. Therefore, respecting the process is about respecting yourself enough to know that you are worth investing the time into your physical and mental self so that you can be your best self for that race or ride.

Stay tuned for Part II: Preparing for your First Century Ride, Ensure Your Success!

Ventura to Ojai, through Lake Casitas for 60 miles of beautiful roads!

PART II: Feelings, Truth, and More Truths about Life

Arielle Miller / Acceptance, Accountability, Adventure, Alive, Build connections, Celebrate, Celebration, Central Coast, Central Coast California, Challenges, Community, Gratitude, LAUSD, Lifestyle, mindfulness, Remembering, Santa Ynez Valley, School, Teacher Life, Teaching, Updates / Be there for others, Gratitude, Tell Someone You Love Them / 0 comments

June 6, 2019

As a heads up: If you haven’t checked out PART I: Feelings, Truth, and More Truths about Life that was published on May 23rd, 2019, before you continue reading this, be sure to check out that post for context.

But before I continue with Part II, I wanted to point out that you may [or may not] have noticed a common theme from my last few posts on this blog, Instagram, and on my podcast, Leveling Up with Arielle Miller.

My colleague made me this beautiful cake for me as an early birthday present and to serve as a send off as I gear up for my new adventure in Santa Ynez and with Lompoc Unified as a high school English teacher.
It’s little things like this, well this wasn’t so little, it took her two days to make this cake, that show others they matter to you and that they have positively impacted your life. This cake made me feel so special, loved, and valued.

As of late, I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on life and the relationships we choose to foster with others. And in leaving what I consider to be some of the most important years of my life, it has shown me what I mean to others while reminding me that the only time we have is the present. Tomorrow is never promised, so please, please, please take the time to celebrate people you care about in real time. Do not wait for a deadline before wanting to call someone, grab drinks, go to brunch, or to host people in your home. Reach out now, don’t wait for great change or catastrophe–let those know whom you love that you love them.

I am by no means a perfect person. I have made mistakes. In fact, I have made many. Some that haunt me even today, and I can still feel the bitter sting of my past actions and choices, but I deserve that. I have hurt friends by not being there for them, not showing up for birthday parties, or dinners and more.

Nearly, eight years ago I lost my Uncle Craig. A beloved family member to all, adored for his eccentricity. Nevertheless, when he fell very ill from his diabetes, and was in assisted living, the drive from my parent’s home on Long Island was ‘always too long’ or ‘too much’. There simply was never ‘enough time for a visit’. Therefore, I never went. I never visited my uncle in his last few years and months on earth because I was too selfish, unable to carve out a few hours to ease his suffering. I mark my Uncle Craig’s death as the impetus, illuminating how I needed to reformulate the manner in which I was living my life. I said then and now live this truth: There is always time for anyone who is suffering, ailing, or in need of company. Period.

In the wake of my Uncle’s death, one of hardest things I have ever faced was reflecting on what I did, and in this case, did not do while my Uncle was alive. I vowed to never make the same mistake again. Subsequently, when my grandmother had a series of strokes after hip replacement surgery, rendering her bed ridden and in a care facility, I made sure to ALWAYS visit her when I came back to New York. ALWAYS. It did not matter how long or short my trip to New York was, and it did not matter how inconvenient going to see my grandmother was or potentially could have been. I made a promise to myself that I would not make the same mistake I made with my Uncle Craig ever again. Truly, I have tried to live my life in accordance to what I have learned from my past mistakes so that I could become an honorable person. One that when I looked in the mirror, I was proud of.

As we ushered in 2019, I consciously recommitted to go out of my way to support friends in any and every way I could. That meant showing up to grand openings of new businesses, for performances, parties, baby showers, and more. I started feeling better about my renewed purpose in being there for others. Showing up to these things felt right and has contributed to a wholeness I missed feeling. Sadly, I think all too often that people show up for others and events out of necessity, and that is not what I am talking about when I say to be there for others. Being there in the physical sense is not enough. Being there, fully committed to someone else is what I am talking about. It is about letting go of this notion that our time is somehow more valuable than others, that our shit is more important than being there for someone, and that there will always be time later on. Well, what happens if there is no later? There is only now.

Show up for others, and in turn, you are showing up for yourself. And hell, if people like you enough for being there for them, perhaps you’ll be lucky enough to have someone bake you a killer unicorn cake to show their appreciation for you.

Just saying.

PART I: Feelings, Truth, and More Truths about Life

Arielle Miller / Acceptance, Accountability, Adversity, anger, Celebration, Central Coast, Central Coast California, Challenges, Chronic Illness, Commitment, Community, Current Events, Gratitude, Lifestyle, Married Life, mindfulness, News, Remembering, Santa Ynez Valley, Scleroderma, Uncategorized, Updates / Being Honest with Yourself, Birthday Party, Canceling Plans, Community, Friendship, LA Flake, Leaving Los Angeles, Life in LA, Lifestyle, Live Your Truth, Los Angeles, Los Angeles Life, Moving, Reflection, Santa Ynez Valley, Self-Reflection, Starting a New Life, Starting Over, Supporting others, Truth Speaker / 0 comments

May 23, 2019

I am moving in four weeks. Since alerting friends of my move from Los Angeles to the Central Coast (specifically Santa Ynez), I have been inundated with inquiries about having a going away party and/or trying to see me. And I am pleasant and as accommodating as I can be. But I cannot help but feel a bit hurt that people have the gall to ask those things, especially now of all times.

You know…In October, I threw a surprise party for my husband’s 40^th. Nearly 30+ people said they were coming and less than 10 of our friends showed up. I reserved space at a hip bar in Hollywood, had ordered appetizers, and was excited to show my husband how much those in our lives love him. However, in the days leading up to the party people started posting in the Facebook group AKA the invite that they could no longer make it. Ok, fine.

Then came the personal messages to my inboxes on Facebook and Instagram of people canceling. Finally, then came the texts. For the two days leading up to the party, the day of, night of, the hour before, and even DURING the party, people alerted me that “Sorry, I won’t make it”.

I cannot even begin to describe the deep hurt and overwhelming sense of sadness I carried around for the days surrounding the party. Even before heading out that night, I had to step outside my apartment and cry hysterically to my sister about how this party turned out to be a disaster. All I wanted was for my husband to feel special and this party had the complete opposite result. My husband saw the wetness in my eyes, heard the heaviness in my voice, and noticed my body language as I started to shut down.

For those of you whom do not know my husband Greg intimately, he is one of the most beautiful humans on this planet; and I am not just saying that because he is my husband. I am saying that because it is an irrefutable fact. Greg is loyal, hardworking, funny, and above anything and everything, he is kind. His gentleness is a defining attribute, one that balances my fiercely intense nature. Greg is patient, airing more on the introverted side, but also an incredible force as a fitness professional and as an athlete. He is selfless, dedicating himself to his graduate studies in Public Health, while working tirelessly to raise awareness for Scleroderma through fundraising efforts by running the LA Marathon. Is Greg a saint? Absolutely not. Is he a pretty fucking fantastic human? YES.

Sure, like everyone, there is always room for self-improvement and growth. In Greg’s case, he struggles to actively cultivate meaningful, personal friendships. Really, that is it. See, Greg has usually maintained two careers, working long hours in the hospitality industry into the wee morning hours, and then waking up early to travel to all corners of the city to teach morning and lunch time fitness classes for Equinox. This intense and exhausting pace with which he led his life left him with little time to see friends outside of his work life. Now, I cannot speak for Greg, and I am not sure at the time he even knew that his grueling schedule did not permit the fostering of friendships, but his constant go, go, go lifestyle left him exhausted and depleted. As we have discussed at length, Greg now knows, sees, and feels regret for not slowing down, for not taking more time for himself and others, for not recognizing the signs when his body was screaming for rest…But what is done, is done. The only thing that can be done is to look to the past for the lessons to inform how to live in the present while constructing the future. Hence, this move to the country.

Reeling from the emotions we experienced after Greg’s party, we both assumed some ownership over people not coming to Greg’s party because it is only fair. In years past, either Greg or the both of us did not always prioritize the relationships in our lives. All that considered and taken into account, we both walked away from his party raw and sad, but prepared and eager to apply what we learned in our lives.

This year we wanted to have a New Year’s Eve party because Greg cooks, we have a great place for entertaining, and we LOVE having people over. We sent out ‘feelers’ to friends and were met with “I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I’ll let you know”. Sure, a few people said they had plans, some did not even respond. However, most people responded with what we both felt was along the lines of people waiting and/or looking for something better to come along. I get that, I really do. I get people want to weigh their options. However, when someone is trying to organize an event, especially someone who thought enough of you to invite you into their home; simply decline the offer. Wishy-washy responses like that are rude and inconsiderate; and I am fairly certain that your momma raised you better than that.

So, no.

We are not having a party because experience has shown me that people only show up when it serves them, not to celebrate others. I do not want to leave a city I love, filled with people I love on a sour note.

Call me angry or whatever you want. I am just calling it like it is. And perhaps I am angry, but I am going to honor that while committing to simultaneously relinquishing it as I stand in my power.

Honest. Raw. Authentic. Which is more than most people can say about themselves, so I will own it.

The madness and upheaval in leaving Los Angeles has stirred up many feelings, forcing me to truly go inward. From packing and saying good-bye to my chosen family, a common theme has emerged. We do not know what we have until it is gone. All too often, we look back on our lives perplexed, wondering where the time went…

Dismayed by missed connections and lapsed opportunities, often we are filled with regret when the shoulda, coulda, and woulda’s start to set in.

Why does it have to take someone you value and care about moving away before you want to spend time with that person, or tell that person what they meant to you?

Why does it take death and loss to realize that we did not make the time we thought we had, when we had it?

Why?

This is an important conversation to have with yourself. It is important to take a hard, honest, and REAL look at the person staring back at you in the mirror.

Recognize that if you are not the person you think you are and want to be—then the time to make those changes is NOW.

Not tomorrow or when it is convenient.

Now, because there is never enough time to spend with the people that you love and cherish, so stop waiting and putting it off.

I can say with confidence that I am proud of the life I choose to live, and the manner in which I lead it…

Stay tuned–To be continued in PART II: Feelings, Truth, and More Truths about Life…

To Live, Luv, + Leave El Lay

Arielle Miller / Adventure, Alive, balance, Blog, Build connections, Central Coast, Central Coast California, Challenges, Community, Fitness, LAUSD, Lifestyle, Santa Ynez Valley, School, Teacher Life, Teaching, Updates / Begin Again, Being Courageous, Equinox, Leaving Los Angeles, Lompoc, Lompoc Unified School District, Los Angeles, Los Olivios, New Job, New Life, Overcoming Obstacles, Podcast, Proud Teacher, Santa Ynez, Santa Ynez Valley, Starting a New Life, Starting Over, Teacher, Teacher Life / 7 comments

May 8, 2019

The last 15 years of my life have been the absolute best, most challenging, formative years of my life.

Immediately after my undergraduate studies, I ran off to Los Angeles after my college boyfriend broke my heart. I left behind family and virtually no friends, as I did not cultivate relationships with people from high school. While in college, I struggled with my own demons, making it hard for others to want to be around me, so leaving the few lasting friendships did not faze me.

So, at 22 years old, I ran off to Los Angeles to escape myself, masking it as self-discovery and reinvention. I started my new life teaching 8^thgrade English at a low-income, high needs, and ‘rough’ school in the heart of urban LA. I did not know of gangs, LA traffic, lip fillers, butt implants, which hipster neighborhood to live in, the meaning of cholo, or how to get into the coolest clubs. Nonetheless, I leapt head first into a life where ignorance was bliss, thus allowing me to thrive. Precisely because I had zero sense of failure, it never crossed my mind that I could actually fail at something.

My love affair with Los Angeles blossomed virtually instantaneously, and I was smitten with this city. From the late night burrito and taco spots, to the laid back nature in which teachers dressed for work, to the upper echelon of bougie Beverly Hills, fancy restaurants, bars, and clubs, to the beach, to the gritty and tough environment of my teaching jobs—I loved this city and she loved me.

Los Angeles embraced my incessant desire to express myself through clothes, hair, and tattoos. Various administrators turned a blind eye to my self-generated, edgy, and contemporary English Language Arts curriculum, thus allowing me to find my place as an educator and flourish. Even my no nonsense and unapologetic approach to teaching my fitness classes was welcomed [in most cases, haha]. Los Angeles just seemed to get me and LA looked damn good on me.

Oh, to live and die in LA.

Los Angeles is my home. In fact, if you were to ask me where I were from, I would respond, “El Lay”. Yes, I was born and raised in New York, but Los Angeles is where I grew into the woman I am today. Los Angeles has shaped my belief systems, passions, politics, and so much more.

I am a proud Angeleno through and through.

Life in LA is not just good for me. It is great.

And so, it seems only fitting that after the best years of my life, having established myself in working for Equinox, one of the most prestigious fitness brands in the world and recently getting promoted at the school district, it is time for a new adventure…Right?!

Recently, while on Spring Break in Los Olivos with my husband Greg, we were presented with an opportunity to relocate to our Happy Place. A place that we dreamed of living ‘one day’ without ever really thinking that ‘one day’ would actually come [well before retirement that is].

After a beautiful love affair with Los Angeles, my husband and I will be moving to Santa Ynez Valley, California’s Central Coast to begin a new life and adventure in Los Olivos.

Before I get into the details, I do want to share something with you all.

When I first met my husband nearly six years ago, I told him I dreamed of moving to this ‘small town called Los Olivos’. Greg scoffed at the idea of me—ME, living in a small town. But after our first trip up to the area together in June 2014, Greg said to me, “Now, I get it.” It was then our little dream started to incubate. We toiled with moving. We chuckled while drinking wine in the tasting rooms and talked about how “One day…” while telling everyone we met during our trips to the Santa Ynez Valley that ‘we want to move up here’. I mean, come on. How many tourists say shit like that?! Ahem, like everyone, but how many actually do it?!

Then, in November of 2018, I made a vision board. Upon arriving home from another blissful trip to our “Happy Place”, I started gathering images evoking positive feelings associated with the life I wanted to live…The life I wanted—no, was going to manifest. These images were simple, capturing rolling hills, wine, horses, books, some athletic clothing, and a simple life. Quite the departure from the life I lived in LA. I looked at my vision board and if I am being honest, I didn’t think much other than it was pretty badass. Before landing on my closet door, my vision board remained propped up on our bar in the living room for a few weeks.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think, could I think, or would I think that in a matter of months, literally every single thing on that vision board would leap off the page to become my new reality. Talk about The Law of Attraction, that’s for sure!

Greg will soon, and by soon, I mean very soon, transition back into managing a restaurant as the General Manager for The Bear and Star at The Fess Parker Inn. In addition, I am eager to report that I too have gotten a new job at Lompoc Unified School District (LUSD). Talk about mind meld—from LAUSD to LUSD that sure is going to take some getting used to on my part. I am thrilled to share with you all that next year, I assume my new position at Lompoc High School teaching 9^thgrade English and English Language Development (ELD). Now, as someone who has just spent the past year in an out-of-classroom district role, the terminology used to reference this transition is, ‘I am going back to the classroom’. And I need to tell you, I never liked that phrasing and I like it even less now seeing it ascribed to my venture moving out of LAUSD. The term ‘going back to the classroom’ implies some sort of demotion, or assumption that the role of a classroom teacher is somehow lesser than working in an out-of-classroom capacity. Simply, that is not true. I am not going ‘back’ anywhere. I am returning to a place where I am needed most. A place where 150 bodies walk through my door every day and it is my job to empower, inspire, and educate them. A place where what I say and how I do my work can potentially alter the trajectory of someone’s life for the better. A place where hormones, out bursts, pimples, and boyfriend/girlfriend drama are commonplace. A place, a place…

A place where I feel whole, overwhelmed with purpose doing the best work in the world. A place where I know what I say may not resonate in the immediate, but will reverberate years down the line. A place where I learn everyday through the eyes of a child. A place where I am the best I can be.

That place is THE CLASSROOM.

So, when I say I am ‘going back to the classroom,’ I am going home. I am going to MY PLACE where I shine brightest by helping others tap into their greatest potential.

Now, that is not without saying that I am not scared to take this step, because I am. I am terrified to leave the only meaningful friendships I have ever known. To relinquish my fitness classes that I worked so hard for, earning my place on a schedule, and then building a following. To leave a well-respected district position with LA Unified where I thrived and looked at my career in education and said, “It’s all up from here!”

And trust me, I saw it all. In two years I would be an Assistant Principal…then a Principal, then…

Nevertheless, sometimes things change. Sometimes plans, ambitions, and dreams evolve and that is OK! For the last seven years, I have taught group fitness, six of those years for Equinox. The grind and hustle of working, maintaining, and remaining at the top of my craft in two career fields has taken everything I had deep within me. Also, it has taken my time from self-care, social engagements, and didn’t leave anything left for passion projects like this blog, my motivational speaking, my new podcast Leveling Up with Arielle Miller, and so much more. My entire 30’s have been dominated by work, work, work, and all I have to show for the ferocious commitment to my careers are some Instagram followers, extreme fatigue, low self-esteem from the fitness industry since I will never ‘look good enough’, and a wholllleee lotta leggings.

Seriously though, we celebrate this no-days off mentality, this constant “I’ll sleep when I am dead’ mentality but that’s just it—you’ll be dead, so you won’t be able to reap the joys of your constant laboring. There must be—no, there IS more to life than zipping through life at a million miles an hour. How can I, rather, how can one, enjoy this life if you are too busy to even experience it? For me, this move is about re-establishing balance and boundaries in my life. This move is about giving myself the permission I would have never been able to give myself living in Los Angeles. Permission to begin again, to step back, to give up classes, to work out more purposefully, and to simply DO ME.

Wow, do me. Now, that frightens me. How does one go from having seemingly ‘no time’, to now being able to have the accessibility to pursue matters of the heart and soul simply because one can as opposed to IFthey can…?

Sure, some may call me brave for willingly catapulting myself into the unknown, but remember this:

People are only brave because they are scared.

Moving is scary. Leaving a fitness community, gym, job, colleagues, routine, and so much more that is familiar, safe, and comfortable is a lot for me to grapple with and I would be lying if I told you that I was so strong that I handled this in stride. I have cried every day since Greg and I said “YES” to us and a new life. And I haven’t cried for any other reason than lamenting leaving whilst being SO excited to hit the reset button on my life. Also, in some respects I am mourning a figurative death as I leave my beloved El Lay and all that I have come to love in all its familiarity.

In deciding to leave LA, I feel like I am letting so many people down. I feel like I am turning my back on those who need me, even though we damn well know I am doing nothing of the sort. It just feels like I am choosing to throw away a life I have worked tirelessly to build, even though I know that is not true and it’s only my silly perception. However, in reflecting with my husband…Should we move? Should we not move?

Me and Greg at a Carhartt wine tasting in LA in March/April 2018

What if it doesn’t work out?

We kept asking ourselves,What if it DOES work out?

For the both of us, the resounding thought was, what if in 20 years from now we looked over at one another and wondered what could have been…What if we said aloud, “Remember when we could have taken a grand adventure, but we were too scared to…”

What ifwe don’t take this chance?

Shoulda

Coulda

Woulda

Truth be told, I am more terrified to take this giant step then words can convey. But you know what’s even more scary? Not taking this leap of faith and living a life of what if, and wondering. Frankly, I believe the greatest tragedy of one’s life, is to not live life to its fullest capability because of fear. That is not living. That is always playing it safe and never growing or learning because one was too afraid to leave their comfort zone.

I really cannot think of anything more tragic than wishing, wanting, hoping, and never DOING. Life is meant to be lived by taking risks. This risk needs to be taken.

My friends will always be there.

Work will always be there.

Fitness will always be there.

But this chance to jump head first into the abyss of the unfamiliar, most certainly won’t.

Fifteen years ago I ran away to LA to flee a life I did not have. Now, while this move looks as if I am walking away from so much, I do not see this as walking away from anything, so much as running towards something.

The LAUSD Teacher Strike, Part II: Gratitude is the Greatest Gift!

Arielle Miller / Abundance, Build connections, Celebrate, Community, Current Events, Featured, Giving Back, Gratitude, LAUSD, LAUSD Teacher Strike, Motivation Monday, News, School, Teacher Life, Teaching, Top Stories, Uncategorized, UTLA / Community, Community Support, Education, Grateful, Gratitude, LAUSD, LAUSD Strike, LAUSD Teacher Strike, Middle School, Proud Teacher, Public Education, Public School Teacher, UTLA / 0 comments

January 28, 2019

Outside Virgil Middle School picketing when a few of my former students came out to show their support

PART II:

During the rain, parents, members of the community, and former students came to Virgil Middle School to bring doughnuts, homemade goods like hot beverages, tamales, tacos, and other tasty treats. One passerby stopped to drop off a stack of ponchos. Teachers took turns bringing food to share, setting up and breaking down the tents daily, purchasing various necessities like mega phones, batteries, and materials to make signs. People looked out for others—guarded their gear when venturing to rallies, gathered materials and items left behind, and above all, no one got left behind. Every single person on the picket line wasn’t a friend, they were family. We took trips to local businesses to use the restrooms. We painstakingly helped one another peel the layers upon layers off when breaking for lunch. We shared food, offering bites of burritos and pizza that we may have waited an hour in line to get at a rally because they were free. We took photos with and of one another, and giggled in delight after deciding if we should take another picture. These weren’t just people I have known and worked with through the years, these people became my brothers and sisters. What we shared out there, marching, walking, protesting, singing, dancing, chatting, yelling, and crying, can never be recaptured. Nor can the feelings of support from the community, city, and nation for the teachers of Los Angeles.

Thank you.

Me enjoying a much needed hot beverage. This is arroz con leche (rice and milk) that a parent of a student at Virgil Middle School made for the picketing teachers. Check out the size of that pot!
I am forever grateful to the parents of the community that I serve, thank you doesn’t seem like enough for the things you have done for us

For me though, one of the biggest things I am walking away from this experience with is feeling like I must have done something right in my life. During the strike, I received countless communication from students I’ve had over the years. These messages were former students sharing how my work as a teacher positively impacted them and included extensive gratitude for walking the line and taking a stand.

Rain or shine, and even if the strike went on for longer–every single bit of the effort I put forth into standing up for public education was worth it. It’s a pretty fantastic feeling to know that by proxy of being the teacher that I am, and for being who I am, that I changed people’s lives.

Marlen and Ashley, now 8th graders are two students I had in the 7th grade

Some powerful highlights of the six days were when one of my students, now 22 years old surprised me by showing up to the picket line with doughnuts. But that’s not even the best part! This young lady wanted to tell me in person that she is in graduate school to be a teacher…because of me. It’s ok, you can cry now. But wait, it keeps getting better.

Another one of my students came to show his support before heading to class. He now attends Syracuse University in New York and heralds his time in LAUSD and his teachers as the reason for his success[es].

And finally, another highlight comes from a man—I cannot even say young man, because he is now 27! He was in my first ever group of students when I started with LAUSD and now works in law enforcement. He is a single father with full custody of his two beautiful children that he is raising with the help of his parents. He is articulate, bright, responsible, and informed. The one thing though that spoke to me most that he is a thriving adult and proof what good teachers can do for a child’s future. Great teachers forever arm people with the skills and capabilities to live life wholly and completely on their own accord. Unable to picket with us due to his job, he took me to lunch. See, it’s the acts of kindness that reverberate for me.

Astrid, 22 years old, Graduate Student, future teacher.
Franklin, 20 years old, Syracuse University
Eduardo, 27 years old, Father and works in law enforcement
Leah, 9th grader at Bravo Medical Magnet
Karla, 8th grader, Virgil Middle School, Medical Magnet
Some of my former students showing their support
More students showing their support during the LAUSD Teacher Strike
Me with more of my former students, AKA my heart

It’s not that I taught these kids to write a kick ass essay (though that’s super important and really cool too), it’s that these kids clearly got ‘it’. And by ‘it’ I mean what it takes to be good human, to show compassion for others, to be an active participant in your community and society, to support others, to stand up for what you believe in, to view life’s challenges as opportunities, and above all, the value in expressing gratitude.

This strike wasn’t just about a fair contract for teachers. Well, in part it was. But it was a message to the world that teachers can and will stand up for what is right for students. The strike also showed me just how valuable a good teacher is (not that I didn’t already know and all). Teachers possess the power to forever alter the trajectory of one’s life for the better and the proof exists in the faces of those children, now adults, who stood by my side, reached out to me, or quietly watched their former teacher talk the talk and literally walk the walk.

This is the legacy I choose to leave behind.

Karla and Kimberly, now 8th graders were in my honors class and homeroom in the 7th grade–oh, the great times we had together!

Simply, I walk away from these six days with my newfound family, and a better understanding of how much both my colleagues and I matter to the kids we serve. I say this a lot and I will say it again. Being a teacher is a privilege. I have and will continue to take every single second I stand in front of kids seriously, and I thank you for calling me your teacher. I proudly wear the title Teacher (or ‘Miss’). And while I didn’t need a strike to show me the importance of the work I do and its impact, it only reinforced that quality teachers are needed more than ever.

The LAUSD Teacher Strike, Part I: What Happens When It All Ends? And What Happened To Those For Which It Never Began?

Arielle Miller / Abundance, Adversity, Build connections, Challenges, Community, Current Events, Hard Work, LAUSD, LAUSD Teacher Strike, News, Teacher Life, Teaching, Top Stories, Uncategorized, UTLA / Austin Beutner, Hard work, Huelga, LAUSD, LAUSD Strike, LAUSD Teacher Strike, Picket Line, Protest, Public Education, Scabs, Strike, Teacher Strike, Teachers of LA, Tentative Agreement, UTLA / 2 comments

January 27, 2019

Nothing and everything has changed at the same time.

How do you go back to the way things were, when you are no longer the same person before nothing and everything changed simultaneously?

After being on a six-day strike that has now been resolved, I am sitting here alone, anxious and overwhelmed with emotion. For six days, four of which occurred in torrential rains and wind that eventually culminated in Southern California’s signature sunshine; the LAUSD teacher strike is now over.

Me outside Virgil Middle School during the strike and picketing

Hours of chanting, marching, helping others make signs, taking bathroom trips, venturing to rallies on the Metro, shouting on a megaphone at oncoming traffic [that very well may have just been me], or hunting for something to eat, are over. I know I am supposed to feel happy, even elated that I am going back to work, but I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and cannot wait to settle back in to the rhythm of my routine; but how does one measure a lifetime lived over the course of a week? How does one press on with the mundane after the extraordinary?

It’s hard to really quantify the week’s events, but I am going to do my best to illustrate that the ending of the strike, is ironically really anticlimactic. There’s all this tension, build up, and intensity funneling into what’s believed to be grand finale of sorts. But in reality, it’s not like that at all. There are no bells and whistles, signal, or culmination of all your strike efforts. It all just abruptly ceases.

Things went down like this:

We got word there was a tentative agreement via text message on Tuesday, January 22, 1019 at 9:30am.

Union representatives went to learn the details from Union officials at 2pm, then brought the ballots back to school sites anywhere between 4-5pm.

Between 5-6pm we voted, went home, and by 8pm the strike was officially over which was confirmed by an 80% ‘YES’ vote to approve the tentative agreement.

And that was it.

No swan song. No grand finale—it was just over. I’m not going to lie, even now the shock of it all coming to an end feels so unfinished and like a total let down. If you’ve ever been on a picket line, you likely understand how this feels. The overwhelming sense of sorrow that has engulfed me since has been intense and at times made me so anxious that I find myself wondering why my heart is racing while at rest. See, while there is some semblance of resolution with the tentative agreement, all of the energy spent on the picket line just seems to evaporate like morning dew, leaving the lasting feeling as if the whole thing was just a dream. Did it happen? Was it really like that? Did we really all just stand in the pouring rain for four whole days? Did we all just share something so special together that it forever binds us in a closeness that only we could possibly fathom? Holy shit, did we just make history?

I am not going to take you through my day-by-day, but what I will do is try to bring you ever so much closer to what life really looks like on a picket line.

First, for some reason people in the city of Los Angeles and maybe even elsewhere were confused. When an entity such as UTLA (United Teachers of Los Angeles) members vote, approve, and actually strike, the people on the picket line do not get paid. They do not call in, leave sub plans, check nor respond to email, or fulfill any of their job duties. Now, if someone chooses to cross the picket line, meaning they choose to work, they are a scab. If someone calls in a sub claiming to be sick, they are still paid even though they do not report to work, and they are a scab. If someone conveniently gets a doctor’s note riiiiight before the strike and is miraculously healed when the strike is over; while I cannot prove it, I am going to call them the worst kind of scab. Period.

The picketing teachers at Virgil Middle School. Sadly, there wasn’t 100% participation and several teachers did not strike. There were a handful of Teach for America (TFA), first year teacher’s who did not, fearful they’d lose the loans awarded by TFA and shamefully three veterans that did not strike. There are also several other teachers in question as to their whereabouts and whether they called in sick, etc.

You may view me harsh for my judgments, but let me teach you a thing or two about how a strike, or at least the LAUSD Teacher Strike of 2019 went down. Buzz of strike was brewing for about a year. On August 31, 2018, 98% of UTLA members voted YES to authorize a strike. Read that again, AUGUST 2018. The initial strike date was October, then it was pushed to November, then it was announced that UTLA members would work two days of the second semester to precure their health benefits, THEN would strike on January 10, 2019. However, due to Austin Beutner’s efforts, an injunction prevented the January 10th start date and the strike was pushed off yet again. This time until Monday, January 14, 2019. So, why I am telling you this? Why am I giving you this timeline?

Because I heard some people defend scabs saying things like:

– Everyone has mouths to feed

– You don’t know someone’s situation at home

– People have bills to pay

And that bullshit isn’t even all of it. Yes, that rationale is bullshit. UTLA members knew a strike was coming FIVE MONTHS before it actually happened—FIVE FREAKING MONTHS. If one could not sock away a little cash over the course of five months to prepare, then the state should revoke this person’s teaching credential. I’m sorry. Actually, I am not sorry for feeling so strongly about scabs and not crossing the picket line.

My husband and I live very modestly and I am not ashamed to say, we live paycheck to paycheck. I don’t have much in the way of material wealth to account for my 15 years of service as a public school teacher for LAUSD, but at least I have my dignity. There were 30,000 teachers standing in solidarity, fighting for the rights of our students, to improve our schools, save public education, and to advocate for the tools needed to do our jobs better. WE ALL TOOK A FINANCIAL HIT. Each one of us didn’t earn money to stand up to “The Man” (and we won by the way, hell yes!). But you know who got paid, didn’t take a stand, AND now reaps the benefits of the new contract? Guess.

The scabs.

Yup. For whatever excuse, because I refuse to call it a reason, these people crossed the picket line. There were teachers in wheelchairs, using walkers, canes, and some even running fevers from the inclimate weather on the picket line. What was their excuse? As far as I am concerned, when it comes to my comrades, you are either in or you are out. And if you are out, then you have committed social suicide. You are now and shall forever remain a pariah. Scabs deserve whatever backlash ensues in the wake of the strike. Thanks to the hard work of 30,000 other people that decided there was a just enough cause to forgo pay, the scabs walk away from this all with cash in their pockets; but it sure has me wondering about their conscious. How can they sleep at night? Drift off to slumber, knowing they didn’t play a role in all this?!

But hey, what do I know?

What I do know is that the as a result of the six-day LAUSD Teacher Strike, I am not the same person I was before the strike. I am more fired up than ever. More inspired to become active in my union, to truly understand collective bargaining, negations, and the innards of union work/leadership. I am inspired to empower myself so that I may in turn unify and mobilize the masses.

Walking the picket line in the rain showed me something about humanity.

It showed me that people are watching, listening, and care about our cause. Teaching is a thankless job, that we all already knew. But what I saw in the rain, the cold, the marching, and the sunshine, was that people come together in times of adversity. While we tend to think as challenges and hardships as catastrophic, the opposite is, or could be the case. I am awed by the outpouring of support we received from parents at charter schools, students, community leaders and members, and the parents. Thousands of people made the choice to stand by my side—no, our side, during this battle for public education. I will never forget the kindness people are capable of when it seems like you have nothing and like no one is listening. Because the truth of the matter is when you stand up for something you feel passionately about, you are more wealthy than you could imagine. And when you use your voice, people are listening to what you have to say.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s follow up to today’s piece,The LAUSD Teacher Strike, Part II: Gratitude is the Greatest Gift!

My Healing Journey, Part II

Arielle Miller / 30 day cleanse, Abundance, Acceptance, Accountability, Adversity, At Home Workouts, Body Building, Celebration, Challenges, cleanse, Commitment, Diet, Diet and Exercise, Fitness, Goal Setting, Goals, Gratitude, Hard Work, Holistic Nutrition, Lifestyle, mindfulness, Nutrition, Updates / candida, candida cleanse, Fitness, Hard work, healing, Healing Journey, Health, Health and Wellness, Holistic Health, Holistic Nutrition, infertility, innercising, looking for answers, Mindfulness, rest and relaxation, Seeking answers / 0 comments

November 21, 2018

Everything Mona said made sense. It was eerie how well this woman knew what was happening to me and explained the long process ahead to getting me healthy again. But alas, it could be done. For the first time in a year, I had answers, someone who wanted to and could help, and an action plan. A few days later, I started on my natural supplement plan and Phase I of my Healing Journey which was [is] a very strict Candida Cleanse among other things.

One week in, and my clothes started to fit better.

One week in, the puffiness and swelling in my body and face disappeared.

One week in, I lost 7 pounds and started to feel lighter again. Not just in the literal sense, but as in taking up space. It is an odd thing to say in describing yourself, but prior to these positive changes in my body I just felt so off—so, so, so very darn off.

Then, just about one week in, I decided to go completely plant-based (as it was, we had cut my meat consumption dramatically to only one meal per day, so this was an easy transition).

Two weeks in, and my energy levels increased sustainably and now I do not need to nap just to get through the day.

Two weeks in, and my mood has changed. My overall demeanor is upbeat, positive, and I am feeling less and less anxious each day.

Two weeks in, I have lost another 2 pounds; making my total weight loss 9 pounds so far and there is STILL so much more work to be done (and note at the time this post goes live, I have not weighed myself, but I have had to take all my work clothes to the tailor to be taken in the waist!).

At three weeks in which is today, it will have been 29 days that I have been living a renewed and better life than I have lived in the last year.

But it doesn’t stop there. This work is not just about diet and supplementation. It’s about putting in time to ‘Innercise’ too. Each night I write in a gratitude journal noting the day’s highs and lows. I wrote recently on Instagram how this process has shown me that while we think there is always so much bad in our lives, it simply isn’t true. Each day, my Highs FAR outweigh the lows. As a matter of fact, in reflection most days, I cannot even think of a low. I’ve realized through this process that we ruminate on the negative things in our lives because we choose not to see the good. That, and we simply lack the capacity to see the good because we do not know how to filter it out from the perceived ‘bad’ in our lives. This process is showing me how to consciously seek out the light in my life and celebrate daily victories.

But, you want to know where the biggest shift has happed?

Some days I don’t workout. Yes, that’s right. Some days, I just come home from work, meal prep, read, watch some TV, and don’t go to the gym. I’m learning everyday how to listen to my body and its needs. If I am run down emotionally, mentally, and physically—hitting heavy weights will only exasperate my problems and existing negative feelings. Forcing myself to workout is just that—forced and at times felt like a punishment. Fitness and movement should never feel like you are serving a prison sentence. That is why I have worked intentionally to reframe what I do and when. At present while on my ‘Healing Journey’, I have completely phased out all heavy weight lifting. No Crossfit, no powerlifting, no body building, and no weight lifting at all. I have re-integrated yoga, steady state cardio, and added boxing to my workout routine with the occasional HIIT class here and there. And you know what’s happening? CHANGES!

I am actually becoming more fit by doing less.

I will say that again—I am actually becoming more fit by doing less.

My cardiovascular platform improves with every session in the gym. I am boxing longer, feeling less gassed out during workouts, getting faster, AND leaner by working smarter as opposed to harder.

What’s the catch?

What’s the takeaway?

Well, I think it’s clear.

If you want to make great changes in your life, you have to be willing to change your current trajectory and path. It is impossible to expect any shifts in your life if you aren’t willing to bend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah and I thought and said all the things:

I am working out and doing so hard, I am getting rest, I am eating healthy, I am seeing all the right doctors and specialists—blah, blah, blah, blah.

But what real changes was I actually making?

That’s the question.

As I excitedly navigate my new normal, eating what I call ‘unbreakfast foods’ for breakfast like brussels sprouts, eggs, and cauliflower with chicken bone broth (I am aware this isn’t plant based, but due to the gut-healing effects of bone broth, I am keeping it in my diet); I have chosen to alter my life. I have started to take control of my reality by flipping the script on my diet, the types of workouts I am doing while healing, and assessing how I feel about doing them. If an upcoming workout is stressing me out or rendering negative emotions—I skip it and do something else, or nothing at all. I am living slower. Taking on less, saying ‘No’ more and putting my husband and myself first. I stop to meditate, write in a journal, and truly reflect on the blessings in my life. I would have never thought that in the midst of getting healthy again that I would feel so blessed and bountiful.

During this amazing shift in my life, it was time for me to see the fertility specialist. Remember in my last post I mentioned I had seen a gynecologist who referred me to a specialist to address my cycle? When I made the appointment waaaaayyyyy back in August, November seemed like a lifetime away then; but the time had arrived nonetheless. Greg accompanied me to the extensive 2-hour appointment and workup. After a thorough medical history regarding menstruation, it was decided more data was need to confirm what everyone has suspected for years; that I do not ovulate.

Translation for those of you who do not understand the implications of this: If I had wanted to get pregnant, I could not become pregnant. I appear to menstruate irregularly, but it’s break through bleeding. Ultimately, the lining of my uterus is thickening as a result of not ‘sluffing’ it out monthly which could potentially lead to cancer. Finally, not menstruating regularly is a clear marker of hormonal dysfunction—period, see what I did there?!

Some tests confirmed what the doctors already suspected; I am indeed not ovulating which means I am not producing progesterone. And while I was diagnosed 4 years ago with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), I do not actually have it. This recent discovery was a suspicion my doctors and I raised in July because I didn’t have the symptoms of PCOS aside from irregular menses and difficulty losing weight. Ahem, this could be basically ANYTHING?! That said, when I did the research 4 years ago and I was given the initial diagnosis, it seemed right enough. So, I took the Metformin I was prescribed and accepted that this was how things were. I am so glad we took a closer look at this because in July 2018, my doctors told me to stop taking the Metformin. I mean, it wasn’t like it was actually helping control my weight. I was on the maximum dosage while gaining weight rapidly, so there was no point to take the drug unnecessarily.

This whole reproductive health discussion may appear off topic, but it’s not. This is all part of the bigger picture–the whole picture, the complete picture. How can I truly expect to be healthy if one crucial system of my body is shut down, dormant, and not fully functional? Whether I want to have children or not isn’t the issue here and that I want to make clear. Getting my body what it needs to start working again on its own is the goal.

Greg and I asked the doctors if my reproductive challenges played a role in my weight gain and other issues that I have experienced in recent years. They can’t emphatically conclude that it’s the sole culprit, but not ovulating does have its implications and certainly could have played a role. At present, I have been prescribed a 10-day cycle of progesterone to try to induce my period. If that doesn’t work, we go from there*. But again, it comes back to this—I am taking the right steps and actions to get healthy. I am taking a proactive role in my health and doing that AND getting answers feels so darn good.

I mean it when I say that I feel like I have been given a brand new life. I know now that this all had to happen for a reason…

So I could share my tale and inspire others to regain their health. Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions and demanding answers. Don’t stop seeking the answers, even in what may appear like the most unlikely of sources. And most importantly, don’t ever give up. You only get once change to live this life in the one body you were given, so give it your all—you deserve to feel better in your body!

*Since this post was written, further tests concluded much to everyone’s surprise it appears that I am actually ovulating. I was advised not to take the progesterone and will return to the fertility specialist in 3 months to monitor my reproductive system. Again, still lots of question marks, but the doctors and I are working in tandem to get to the bottom of this. I feel more optimistic than ever that in the near future, we will have more answers.

Adventures in #GoingKeto

Arielle Miller / #GoingKeto, Challenges, Chronic Illness, Commitment, Diet, Diet and Exercise, Fitness, Hard Work, Keto, Ketogenic Diet, Lifestyle / Crossfit, Diabetes, Fat as Fuel, Fitness, Health, Health and Wellness, Insulin Resistant, Keto, Keto Diet, Ketogenic Diet, Mark Sisson, Metabolic Damage, Metabolic Dysfunction, Nutritional Science, Obesity, PCOS, stress / 1 comment

June 28, 2018

There have been a lot of things going on in my life, your life, and well; everyone’s life. So, when things beyond the political climate, World Cup, and life are already out of balance; how do you cope when your body is also out of balance?

I know for me, it kind of seems like things all hit me at once. Work, gym, health, and family stuff all seem to come hurling towards me at the same time. From getting a promotion at work—YAY! To switching CrossFit boxes—YAY! To monitoring and worrying constantly about my husband’s health—BOO! To addressing my own health issues—BOO! To my sister getting married in July—YAY! And more.

I mean, there is SO much ‘YAY!’ in my life, but that doesn’t change the fact that change comes with added stress. And currently, I am dealing with addressing my mechanisms for dealing with stressors in my life and it turns out; I am pretty darn shitty about coping with stress. Who woulda thunk?!

In the last few months there has been a major shift in my life. I cannot pinpoint exactly when it happened; but what I was doing to keep my body healthy clearly didn’t seem to be working anymore. Even with a Registered Dietician helping me monitor my macros and counseling me; my skeletal muscle kept going down and my body fat kept creeping up. What that means is, my body was buring its muscle and holding onto fat instead of the reverse. But nonetheless, I stayed the course. I continued to count macros and weigh my food dillgently while hitting my workouts hard. Then one day, my clothes stopped fitting. It wasn’t gradual like one may think. It was just one day, when the buttons on my jeans wouldn’t close. Then another day, I couldn’t get my shorts up over my knees. Then my sports bras became so tight I had to cycle most of them out of the rotation along with most of my stretchy pants because well, now apparently my stretchy clothes weren’t stretchy enough.

I cannot even begin to tell you how many tears I’ve shed and the hours I’ve spent talking to friends about how my body seems to keep rejecting me and all the changes I keep trying to implement. So, I began reading and listening to podcasts from leading doctors and researchers in health and wellness to try to help myself achieve results and feel better in this body.

Here are a few things I have learned—

Metabolic Dysfunction, or as some call it Metabolic Damage, is real. It’s demoralizing, damning, frustrating, and depressing. Years and years of dieting, calorie restriction, working with the wrong people, PCOS, as well as an eating disorder in my teen years have lead me to this very moment. A moment where my body is over-producing insulin, clinging to fat in my mid-section, and taxed out from over-training, lack of rest, and high-stress.

For me though, the hardest part about suffering from Metabolic Dysfunction are what I perceive to be people’s judgments of my body and lifestyle. Countless times doctors have looked me in the face and told me I couldn’t possibly be counting macros or eating well. I can’t tell you how many times the same doctors and even some coaches told me that I couldn’t possibly be hitting as many workouts as I claim, or hard enough since my body isn’t changing. And I can’t even tell you how many times I have left doctor’s offices after a plethora of tests to hear, “Your blood work is fantastic and you’re healthy!” because I sure as hell don’t feel healthy!

But my big issue isn’t that doctors can’t pinpoint my Metabolic Dysfunction; it’s that they don’t want to. They do the standard tests, and the standard tests render standard numbers, and I am simply labeled a standard carb addicted American eating too much bad fat [enter sarcasm].

But really, the worst thing of it all amidst my epic weight gain, is being a fitness professional and an athlete. Compelled by this need to justify my physique, I talk about what I am eating—or not eating. How much I am work out—or about the intensity of my workouts in some almost pathetic effort to say to people and the world, “Look?! See?! I really do work hard, just see past this body!”

Which is why my current foray into nutrition has lead me to adopt a Ketogenic Diet and lifestyle with the hopes that its claims at being able to restore healthy metabolic functioning can get me closer to my goals. I am just shy of one week #GoingKeto and so far, I love it. For the first time in YEARS I am excited about food again. I am trying new things like eating beef and will even be trying Bison in the near future when I am forced to eat it by my husband. I mean, who am I?!

What is a Ketogenic Diet, or Keto?

Simply, it’s low carb, healthy high fat, and moderate protein. There’s so much bad information out there referring to Keto as high fat/high protein and that’s just wrong! Too much protein is actually bad for you! Also, Keto encourages the use of healthy fats like avocado, olive, and coconut oils to eat and cook with. YES, Keto does also endorse consumption of ghee, grass-fed butter, and dare I say it—the cheese. However, integrated with organic meats and veggies, eating these foods means that you are setting your body up to become metabolically adaptive and flexible.

By becoming metabolically flexible, it means that after committing strictly to Keto for 4-8 weeks (depending on your body), you can then occasionally reintegrate things you enjoy without feeling sluggish, bloated, or gaining weight. Keto if and when done right, can liberate you from the cycle of yo-yo dieting; becoming a sustainable lifestyle that will allow you to enjoy life’s sweeter or more savory pleasures from time to time.

I suppose the biggest things I’ve gotten from people are the following:

“OMG! You are eating heavy cream, butter, and all that fat! That’s going to make you fat!”

AND

“OMG! How are you even surviving on virtually no carbs?!? I could NEVER do that!”

Well, let me drop some science on you.

First, for years and years the low-fat, high carb lifestyle has been promoted as healthy. Want to lose weight? Cut your fat and exercise more! Eat low-fat foods, lots of healthy grains, and don’t forget the carbs because you’ll need all that energy to burn in your workouts! And what happened? Our waistlines continued to expand, obesity, AND Type II Diabetes grew at alarming rates. So, sure—we should certainly keep cutting fat and eating carbs; it’s clearly working [enter sarcasm again]. As if my words aren’t convincing enough, maybe Harvard’s School of Public Health may sway you:

“It’s time to end the low-fat myth. For decades, a low-fat diet was touted as a way to lose weight and prevent or control heart disease and other chronic conditions, and food companies re-engineered products to be reduced-fat or fat-free, often compensating for differences in flavor or texture by increasing amounts of salt, sugar, or refined grains. However, as a nation, following a low-fat diet hasn’t helped us control weight or become healthier.”

When living Keto, you go into a state of Ketosis. This is where your body produces Ketones then burns them for energy instead of carbs. The Ketogenic Diet will actually prompt your body to burn fat for fuel. Ketosis only happens if you are depleted of carbs (consuming no more than a range of 21-50 grams per day) and I do not mean depleted in the sense of a body builder on prep. So what happens is: when you replace alllllllll those carbs with fat, it becomes your body’s energy source. You feel full, full longer, and more satiated than when eating a diet higher in carbs and grains, which get burned up quickly—leaving you with cravings and still hungry.

WHOA, a ‘diet’ where you feel satisfied, aren’t hungry, and feel more energized?! That is seems utopian. This Keto business must be too good to be true, or is it?

At nearly one week in, I do not miss my carbs. I do not feel sluggish, nearly as tired, and I feel energized. To illustrate my point, most days I am in a CrossFit WOD, teaching multiple high intensity or cardio class formats, and/or adding in another gym session—I am moving and grooving, and I feel GOOD. What’s more is since my meals are so nutrient dense, the need to eat so often has diminished—though I do always make sure to have keto-macro friendly snacks with me like nuts, a nut butter packer, or a cheese stick.

Tomorrow, I weigh myself. I should have started this journey by taking inches and will start that tomorrow. I plan on being as open and transparent about this and my journey as possible. I mean, what do I have to lose…?! All puns intended. The way I see this, I am treating Keto as an experiment. Learning all I can, doing all I can, and eagerly awaiting the results of my experiment.

Still scared of #GoingKeto? Or are you intrigued, tantalized, or ready to consider making some changes? Listen to this podcast featuring Mark Sisson, a leading researcher in the fitness world and be prepared to have your life forever changed!

Will you join me in #GoingKeto? Because right now, I look in the mirror and most days do not recognize the woman I see; but I know that the reflection I see is only temporary.

I will get this body healthy again.

I will love this skin I am in again.

I will move better in this body again.

I will rise again.

Live Your Best Life As Your Best Self in 2018

Arielle Miller / Abundance, Acceptance, Accountability, Adventure, Adversity, balance, Build connections, Celebrate, Celebration, Challenges, Community, Fitness, Goal Setting, Goals, Gratitude, Hard Work, Lifestyle, Married Life, mindfulness, Motivation Monday, Updates, Yoga / 2018, Dedication, Goal Crushing, Goal Digger, Goal Setting, Goals, Happy New Year, Married Life, Motivation, New Year, New Years Resolutions, Setting Intentions / 0 comments

January 1, 2018

It’s the New Year so you’ve committed to a “New You”. You have bought yourself new kicks, snagged a new gym membership, and you are ready to re-invent yourself in 2018. Whoohoo! Well, here’s my problem with this whole “New You” business. This concept suggests that the person you were in 2017 wasn’t good enough and I don’t like that. What was wrong with who you were in 2017? So maybe you didn’t achieve what you set out to do, you didn’t meet the partner of your dreams, get that promotion, whatever—but that doesn’t mean the entire year was a wash and what’s more, it certainly doesn’t require an entire personal overhaul [unless of course, you are are horrific human and in that case-well, tear it all down and begin anew].

Ladies and gentleman, we are entirely too hard on ourselves. We HAVE to love ourselves more so that we can thrive (yes, yes, yes I am working very hard on accepting certain aspects of myself, sigh). For us all, last year like any other was filled with joy, struggle, and laughter. For all the bad that may have happened, there was also SO MUCH good! In looking back at your 2017, as you prepare to tackle 2018, I want to ask what I feel to be more pertinent questions:

What speaks to your heart?
What are you doing to bring the things that speak to your heart alive?
How have you nourished your soul?
How are you filling your cup while you are serving others?

What terrifies you?

I mean what is something you have always wanted to do, but let your own fear and self-imposed inadequacies stand in the way of you reaching out, branching out, and growing?

Get involved in something.

Be part of something bigger than yourself.

Commit to something.

Train for something.

Find your faith or connect to a higher power. Whatever your faith maybe or whatever it is for you where you derive your spirituality from should be something that brings you strength.

The thing is here, there are no right answers to how you need to cultivate your soul, fill your heart with life and light, and wake up invigorated and energized by life. I invite you to move away from thinking you need to change the you that the world knows. The current you is just fine. Simply, look to this New Year as a season of hope, after all–obstacles in our lives are merely opportunities in disguise.

I wish you all the happiest New Year as you look boldly and confidently ahead. I will be here to celebrate your journey, laugh, sweat, and cry with you. So stop what you are doing right now. Reflect and dare to dream big. You hold the pen to craft this tale and it is up to you to fill the pages of your story.

Arielle’s Goals and Vision Board

And to help hold us all accountable, I am sharing my personal vision board with you all. About a month ago on November 19th, 2017, Greg and I each created our own vision boards to kick our lives into gear before 2018–’cause why the hell not?

We mapped out 3 things to focus on individually: Short, Mid-Range, and Long Range goals with tangible time frames, as well as couple goals we hoped to accomplish together (seen on my board above).

At present, Greg and I have our goals hanging on our closet doors so we see them daily. Personally, I like to take a quiet moment when starting AND ending my day to check back and reflect on my goals while rereading them.

We had a great time doing this little exercise together: markers, colored paper, wine, and them some good TV when we were decorating…Or when I was decorating, haha. Doing things like setting intentions, goal setting, and vision boarding helps not only bring you closer to your hopes and dreams, but also those you care about!

Greg’s Goals and Vision Board

Happiest of 2018, my Fitness Family, Friends, Loved Ones, Students, and those whom I have never met. I hope this year is truly transformative!

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